So anyway, as another week goes by without a new episode of Lost, I'm left with my imagination running wild, pondering the possibilities of what I'll see when the show returns on the 24th. Is the Temple another station or does it have something to do with the statue? Why did Michael get a haircut? Will they have written Walt's apparent sprint from whiny, obdurate ten-year old to morose, scowly teenager as a function of the Island's peculiar temporal effects? And what brand will exclusively hold my attention during the story breaks?
See, I don't have cable, and while my TV has rabbit ears, for whatever reason, it can’t nab an ABC signal that doesn’t make my TV look haunted. So I watch Lost on ABC.com.
You might think that watching TV on a laptop’s monitor kind of sucks, and if you’re used to the expansive grandeur of a 52” plasma screen, then yeah, TV on a laptop monitor is probably disappointing. But my TV still has a tube, and it’s small, so I don’t care. Plus, I don’t have to sit through so many commercials.
Ah yes. TV commercials. You know, the things you sit through the Super Bowl for? Well, for the most part, I hate them. Okay, so the recent Pontiac one is pretty awesome, but that’s only because it incorporates Spy Hunter, the arcade classic that taught me how to drive. I understand that if not for TV commercials and their precious, network-exec-salary-paying dollars, we wouldn’t have shows such as Lost1. So I guess I tolerate them, but only barely. After all, I don’t need a Cialis or McDonald’s ad to mark the appearance of a major plot point. I can figure those out on my own. Moreover, I don’t need Cialis or McDonald’s. In fact, rather than making a connection with me, they are instead building a brand association with narrative interference. Or, I guess, trips to the kitchen or the bathroom. This is probably not an original thought, but when I hear the phrase “I’m lovin’ it,” I am reminded not of glistening, sculpted McMeat, but of the Triskits in my kitchen or the Charmin in my bathroom. That and the fact that it will be another four minutes and thirty seconds before I find out why Sayid is playing golf and flat-ironing his hair. And that really sucks.
But thank the maker2 for streaming video. When you watch Lost, or The Office, or I guess, Buck Rogers3 online, you only have to tolerate a single brand pestering you a handful of times, for a measily 30 seconds. This is waaaaay better than breaking up the show into 8-minute blocks surrounding five intrusive minutes of various products I will refuse to buy out of spite. So I’m okay with Honda sponsoring an online episode of Lost. It doesn’t necessarily make me want to go out and buy the new Accord, but I appreciate that their interference is minimal and strangely polite. If this is a sustainable model for televised content, then it’s okay by me. It certainly works well online.
1Nor would we have shows such as Two and Half Men or According to Jim, which is less of an argument against TV ad dollars as it is an argument against TV.
2If you got this reference, I'm sorry for both of us. Also , would you be able to run a game of D&D on Friday night?
3If you recently read about Hulu.com in Entertainment Weekly, probably.
